Healing My Father Wound

Last night, I had the most beautiful dream.

I dreamt about having a father who was present, interested in having a relationship with me and living his purpose. In my dream, we were allies and collaborators, and we were participating in each other goals and plans.

I woke up glowing after that dream.

Two weeks ago, my biological father called me from Russia for the first time in 10 years. I picked up the phone, and we talked for an hour.

I listened to him. I was curious about his perspective on why he kept the distance and had no communication for so long. I validated his story without judgment.

Then I said, “Dad, I want you to know I hold no grudges. I have nothing against you. I turned out ok. You did the best you knew how. Do you want to turn the page and start fresh?”

You see, my father was absent emotionally all my life. Alcohol was his method of silencing his pain from a trauma that affected him dramatically. I tell the full story in a video I have on my YouTube called Healing The Father Wound. It got thousands of views as that story resonated with many people. (You can see the video here). 

I was healing this wound for over a decade. I went through all stages of grief. I wrote him a letter from the voice of my inner child. I sat in plant medicine circles to see things from his soul’s perspective. And then forgiveness washed over my heart, and I completely let go.

“Dad, I have turned the page. Do you want to start fresh?”

Silence on the phone. Then I hear him say, “I’d love that. I want to talk and stay in touch. Maybe we can speak once a month?”

After our conversation, I heard myself say, “My life partner is so close! This was the last piece. All my relationships are healed now. Karma burned itself out. I am free.”

Healing the father's wound did not happen quickly. The journey was long, and it was so worth it.

To be at peace with my karmic teachers my biological family, has been my greatest inner victory.

Katerina Satori