The Alchemy of the VoidOct 12, 2023
The Alchemy of the Void
This book would not feel complete without a chapter on the Void, a mysterious process that awaits every genuine seeker of Higher Wisdom. Before I can describe the gifts of the Void, I will paint the feeling of the nature of that experience. Even though it is unique to each person when they go through the experience, key characteristics are a part of each journey into the Void. When you begin the journey into the Void, you suddenly feel different. A shift within has occurred, and you may notice things come to a stop in your external reality.
If you are in business for yourself, your business will slow down, and it may come to a screeching stop. The skills you’ve relied on stop working. You feel like you’ve lost your mojo, or your magic is no longer accessible. You notice that things cease to flow. Your mind begins to strategize how to get the flow back. You want to invest more effort to get things moving again, but the more you try, the less your business works. You are in an unfamiliar place; your security is being shaken. And you have no idea what awaits you next. Your descent into the Void has begun. Feelings of restlessness, sadness, and overall disconnection begin to arise. You are moving through your day, but the lightness of being is gone.
Where did it go? Why did things shift so abruptly? You begin to wonder what you did wrong. What if everything you believed was just a fantasy, a spiritual delusion? What if all this spiritual growth was just a fluke? You panic and wonder if you are all alone in this vast Universe. Then, you begin to feel more and more dense and heavy in the soul and the body. You don’t want to feel that way so you try to distract yourself. What can I do? What can I listen to or read that will make things work again?
Escape. You try to escape the feelings you don’t want to feel. You go back to your old ways of numbing yourself to escape the downward slide. Whatever was your vice in the past, it is available for you again like a good old friend. Shame is also here, and now you feel torn apart. You wonder what the heck is happening. Nothing works anymore. Your strategy used to work, but now it fails you. Nature soothes. The heaviness remains, but it lightens when you go to nature, as nature soothes your psyche. But the feeling of disconnection intensifies. Thoughts bombard you that you think you are done with, such as, “I am all alone.
Everything I’ve built and worked for so hard can be gone instantly. I hate feeling so vulnerable. I hate feeling helpless. Did "life" abandon me? What is happening?” The only relief you can find in the descent is your grounding practices. Physical movement brings clarity back to your mind. Breath work takes you back to your body. Music is a gift from the heavens. You may discover that going on long walks outside while listening to the music that speaks to your soul is the only remedy that works. You may find solace in writing. Channeling your confusion and writing with fierce honesty about where you are at and how intense it feels comforts your soul.
Maybe you begin to clean your home, removing clutter and organizing things. Slowly, you find what brings you relief in the Void. At some point, you may find yourself in meditation or prayer. You realize that any resistance is futile, and something important occurs in your soul. What you are going through is not just an ordinary sadness. This is something much more profound. When you’re too tired to fight anymore, a surrender within breathes out like a deep sign. You notice a surprising release all over the body when you truly experience surrender. Trying to surrender is not a mental thing. It is a purely physical experience when your mind drops the resistance and the body lets go. The body knows much quicker than the mind because the body knows how to surrender. It is the mind that needs to learn the lesson of surrender. In the moment of surrender, you receive your first insight. You begin to relax a little more in the space of un-doing. You are being undone by something so much larger than yourself. Everything in your life feels crumbling, and somehow, maybe for the first time, you watch it all through your Witness consciousness. You begin to hear. The voice of your soul begins to speak. Death. Death is a key process of each descent into the Void. The Divine Mother teaches us in cycles. We all love and celebrate birth. It is easy to love new beginnings.
Growth follows birth as a second part of a transformational cycle. We can easily get addicted to growth and are unwilling to let it go when the time comes. And that time always comes. At the peak of each growth cycle, energy shifts, and we enter the "cycle of decline." As we approach the threshold of death, it is unnerving and brings up our core wounds, such as abandonment or that we are not enough or unloved. It is challenging to go through a "cycle of decline" and see beauty in it.
Like aging, it is not celebrated in our Western world. Only youth is glorified, and growth is encouraged. We are used to hearing more, faster, bigger, and better. Decline comes, and you are learning to be with less, be without, simplify, and watch things decline. If you’re in business, you may experience your business slowing down or at a plateau.
Nothing can be more frustrating for go-getters and high achievers. They have very little patience for slowing down. Life has so much to teach them in this cycle, preparing them for the death of our identity. The death cycle comes to all of us, whether we receive it as a sudden health crisis, divorce, or business disaster. Death is swift, and it arrives in style. She demands full submission and release of all control. Fragmented attention of your mind won’t cut it. If you do not know how to be fully present before, you will be forced to learn it now. You need opened eyes, a humble heart, and a surrendered spirit—ego Death For Power Players.
The ego loves thinking of itself as a power player. It loves being certain. It loves what is known and what is safe. The ego screams in discomfort when its certainty is being challenged. There is no other way to break through the casing of the ego. My ego demolition process has happened countless times. Each Ayahuasca ceremony I experienced involved an ego-dissolving process. There is a mini-death with each ceremony. You are being shown a clear mirror of your most unconscious patterns that block connection with others, harden your heart, and re-enforces your belief in separation. You may weep from deep sorrow when you dare to see into the mirror of "truth."
It is so cleansing for the soul to weep from seeing your blindness, selfishness, greed, or any other patterns you wouldn’t want others to know about you. But you choose to see because you know you can heal anything you want to see and feel. What is truly dying, then? Are we losing an identity or a version of ourselves that it is time to let go? Is it just another layer of the mask, our inauthentic self, that is dying, and once you realize that, you open your arms to death?
You begin to see the liberating power of this process. Things are becoming clearer, and you welcome the Void. You open your heart to it. You may cry from this realization, or you may burst out laughing. You may stretch, or you may dance. Something shifts even deeper, and you know you will not be the same after this. This process happens at higher levels of consciousness as well. When you walk the path of the soul, living your purpose and being in service to others, this cycle will also occur. I want to normalize this for people. Just the other day I was conversing with a soul sister, a true Priestess and one of the most embodied women I know.
“Everything is falling apart,” she shared calmly with me. “It is painful, but I know Life teaches me how to die. If we don’t fear death, we can live with so much more courage.” I listened intently and nodded in agreement, as I am no stranger to these cycles. I want to be one of the many messengers who share the Wisdom of the process of death. It is purifying to the bone. It leaves no stone unturned. It is a holy metamorphosis. Having A Safe Space.
This is where we discover how vital it is to have real friends: people on your level who can hold a steady field of unconditional love and compassion for your process and who will not try to rescue or fix you but who can hold presence for your alchemy. And it is alchemy: a full transformation of consciousness. Reach out to a trusted friend when you go through this. There is no need to be stoic and isolated. Give someone you trust a gift of offering support when you feel vulnerable. It will only bring you closer in a true spirit of intimacy.
Rebirth. It is always the darkest before the dawn. And the dawn always comes. The energy shifts just as suddenly as it arrives. The alchemy is coming to an end. Your vibration has been purified. The lightness returns. You see life in a new way. Rebirth is here, and everything feels fresh. A more authentic you is born, and it is felt in every cell of your being. Your enthusiasm returns, your inner fire is restored and your trust in the process of life has been renewed. You have crossed the desert, and you are back to the green pastures where joy dwells.
Reflecting on the gifts of the Void is wonderful. You may be inspired to make art or to write even more. You may want to speak or sing about your experience, but you are moving forward with a new zest for life. You are still the same but also radically different. You have been baptized in the Void with your suffering and the Divine Grace.
And the biggest lesson is realizing that they always come together. The greater the suffering, the deeper the Grace.
- from my manuscript, Divine Mother
#sacredfeminine #alchemy #void
Image: Artist Unknown
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